Since this is the time we’re bombarded by every type of year-end liquor listicle and top songs of the past twelve months, we thought we’d present our own.
Let’s get this party started with The Best and Worst Tequila Songs of 2018.
These ditties made us grit our teeth.
Blake Shelton–Tequila Sheila
Ever since Marty Robbins died in Rosa’s Cantina, drinking songs about our favorite sip have been a staple in country music.
Unlike Robbins’ classic El Paso, however, most of the songs dedicated to tequila have no memorable lyrics or redeeming value.
Shelton’s Tequila Sheila is no different.
By the way, Pancho Villa did NOT drink. But, his name does rhymes with tequila, sort of.
At press time, there was no official video, only audio.
Perhaps Tequila Sheela will pay for product placement?
Just pass the bottle back around when you’re done.
Frank Ray–Tequila Mockingbird
Spectacular island paradise settings and stunning photography in the video couldn’t salvage this wreckage of a country tune.
With the obligatory Patron mention in the ho-hum lyrics, along with a lame ass title and mostly Corona beer product placement, Ray should be voted off this island.
Also, note how Ray annoyingly slurs the word dequila.
Overall, nothing new to see.
Kenny Chesney already slept here. Alan Jackson has his boat docked there. Jimmy Buffet is building retirement condos on it.
The most shocking and disappointing of these comes from George Strait.
A Texas legend, Country Music Hall of Famer, and San Antonio resident, this childish song has unimaginative lyrics dedicated to his overpriced tequila, Codigo.
Even with a slightly toe-tapping melody, the song still feels phoned in.
Frankly, we expected better from King George.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I own an overpriced tequila,
How ’bout you?
These jingles put smiles on our faces.
Dan & Shay–Tequila
By far, the most beloved song of 2018 belongs to this country duo. It has a catchy tune with a memorable hook, but it’s still not perfect.
The video has an engaging story, and a tastefully done Dulce Vida tequila product placement.
An underage sorority girl hooks up with a deaf/mute guy at a ski resort in Colorado. He suspiciously looks like he belongs to a terrorist cell. Along the way, we learn sign language for the word tequila, and that her date likes to drink Dulce Vida from a flask.
But, just as the couple is getting cozy, for some mysterious reason, her guy has an urgent need to leave for Utah.
Four long years later, they haven’t changed a bit.
He’s still driving the same beat up truck, and is up to no good. She still looks too young to be legally behind the stick serving drinks.
3BallMTY & Chayin Rubio–Tequila
This is a cool joint with an infectious beat that is refreshingly NOT country music.
The video displays colorful Mexican costumes, Dia de los Muertos make up, mariachi outfits, loteria cards, lowriders, smoking nuns, chicks with swords, and sugar skull dancers. There’s plenty of Mexican culture to go around.
It also features a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it product placement in a colorful white bottle. Tequila Bronco Independiente from Tequila Galindo (NOM 1517) barely makes the cut.
This is a fun spin that’s perfect for your mom’s zumba class.
Cherish Lee–Tequila Cowgirl
Originally released in October 2017 as the first single to her 2018 debut album of the same name, Lee has pedigree.
Maybe we’ll have a song dedicated to Teslaquila in 2019? We’ll see.
In the meantime, like Lee says–
Hats off and bottoms up!